Non-Verbal Communication - Body Language

Body language is a powerful concept which successful people tend to understand well.

It is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. 

Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously. Research has suggested that between 60% and 70% of all meaning is derived from nonverbal behavior.

Now, you may take or leave that kind of statistic, as it clearly cannot be true in all cases. And furthermore, it cannot include the written word. If it did, authors would not sell books, and we would never sign contracts!

Why we use them?

Humans move their bodies when communicating because, as research has shown^, it helps "ease the mental effort when communication is difficult."

Physical expressions reveal many things about the person using them. For example, gestures can emphasize a point or relay a message, posture can reveal boredom or great interest, and touch can convey encouragement or caution.

Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and leadership, and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be seen and physically observed among people.

Why is body language important?

People are constantly throwing off a storm of signals. Micro expressions, hand gestures, and posture register almost immediately, a silent orchestra that can have long-lasting repercussions.

The way you listen, look, move, and react tells the other person whether or not you care, if you are being truthful, and how well you are listening. When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you are saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.

When we meet someone for the first time body language is especially crucial. We form our opinions of someone we meet for the first time in just a few seconds.

Remember - while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously) the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting yours. So, understanding body language enables better self-awareness and self-control too.

Body Language in different Cultures

 

People from different cultures can interpretate body language in different ways.

In many Asian and Arab cultures showing the soles of the feet is insulting and rude . Similarly pointing the foot or feet at anyone is rude.

In Arab culture the left hand is commonly considered unclean due to associations with toilet functions, and should therefore not be offered or used for touching or eating. When in doubt in Arab environments, using the right hand for everything is a safer idea. The thumbs-up gesture is rude as well. Handshaking tends to be more frequent and less firm - on meeting and departing, even several times in the same day.

In Japan the male bow is still commonly used, when the depth of the bow increases with the amount of respect shown, and is therefore a signal of relative status between two people. Business cards should be exchanged at the first possible opportunity. The card received should be held in both hands and examined carefully, and then stored, preferably in a wallet, on the upper half of the body. Holding a person's identity in one hand is casual/disrespectful. The trouser pocket is a rude place.

Something as simple to us as nodding a head up and down for “yes” would seem to cause no problem in most of the world, until you learn that the same gesture means “no” in Bulgaria.

With all these small gestures meaning different things, it’s no wonder that nonverbal communication can become a roadblock to business relationships. Having an open mind and realizing that cultures are different and so is body language is the best way to overcome these conflicting cultural mores. A little knowledge of other cultures can also help.

5 USEFUL TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE!

• If you want to communicate better in all areas of your life, it’s important to become more sensitive to body language and other nonverbal cues, so you can be more in tune with the thoughts and feelings of others. You also need to be aware of the signals you’re sending off, so you can be sure that the messages you’re sending are what you really want to communicate.
• Try to identify your Body Language problems. Pick one of them and work on it. How? Close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out. Once you have that under control, try another. Rome wasn't built in a day.
• You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them.
• Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work backwards too. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements you’ll feel calmer. Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will dissipate.
• Ideally, your goal is to project confidence without arrogance, competence without defensiveness, friendliness without familiarity, reliability without rigidity and co-operativeness within healthy boundaries.

The Leader as a Systems Strategist

In 1912 Theodore Roosevelt embarked on a whistle-stop tour to cap off a hard fought presidential election campaign.  At each stop Roosevelt planned to clinch people’s votes by distributing a state of the art pamphlet with a stern presidential portrait on the cover and a stirring speech inside.  Three million copies had been printed before an astute campaign worker noticed a small line at the bottom of the photograph which read “Moffett Studios, Chicago.”  Since Moffett held the copyright, the unauthorised use of the photo could cost the campaign one dollar per reproduction.  With no time to reprint the brochure, what was Roosevelt to do?

Not using the pamphlets at all would weaken Roosevelt’s election prospects.  If they went ahead, a scandal could easily erupt on the eve of the election with Roosevelt accused of breaching copyright and liable for substantial damages.  Clearly they had to negotiate with Moffett.  But research by their Chicago operatives turned up bad news.  Moffett was not a Roosevelt supporter, his business was struggling and he was approaching retirement.  

At this point George Perkins, the campaign manager, stopped worrying about the campaign and started thinking about what life might be like for Moffett.  What did the photographer need most?  He came up with an idea and then dispatched the following cable to Moffett Studios.  “We are planning to distribute millions of pamphlets with Roosevelt’s picture on the cover.  It will be great publicity for the studio whose photograph we use.  How much will you pay us if we use yours?  Respond immediately.”  Moffett replied the next day, “We’ve never done this before, but under the circumstances we’d be prepared to offer you $250.”  Perkins accepted – without asking for more.

Perkins’s misleading approach raises ethical yellow flags and is anything but a model negotiation on how to enhance working relationships. Yet this case raises a very interesting question: why did the campaign workers find the prospect of this negotiation so difficult? Their inability to see what Perkins immediately perceived flowed from their anxious obsession with their own side’s problem: their blunders so far, the high risk of losing the election, a potential $3 million exposure, an urgent deadline, and no cash to meet Moffett’s likely demands for something the campaign vitally needed. Had they avoided mistake 1 by pausing for a moment and thinking about how Moffett saw his problem, they would have realized that Moffett didn’t even know he had a problem. Perkins’s tactical genius was to recognize the essence of the negotiator’s central task: shape how your counterpart sees its problem such that it chooses what you want. 

What do you make of that story?  Did you like it?  What sort of man was the campaign manager George Perkins?   Was he a gifted systems strategist, a hard nosed negotiator, an unprincipled opportunist or all three?  … and as you take the time to consider these questions is your perception of this story changing?